the ego hasn't really landed...

Jose Mourinho.

I seriously don't know what's the matter with this dude here. He thinks everyone in the world is against him. Attention whore.

Ask him about Essien's horrendous tackle and he replies:

"I was telling him (Benitez) he was crying all the game. Referees are always very direct and strong to put me in my place, but other managers can do what they want. You can imagine if I do what Pearce did (he ran onto the pitch to place the ball for a freekick) for Mourinho it is a three-month ban."

What the hell? What was that? I see no connections whatsoever with Essien's crazy over-the-top tackle on Hamann. Which btw, that guy didn't even apologize.

You know, you can probably ask him any questions and he'll somehow relate it to himself.

So Mr Mourinho, what do you think of Man Utd's shock exit?

"Why'd you ask me? You want me to say they deserved it right? And the FA's gonna ban me 6 months for unsportmanship behaviour by saying that. To hell with them, I'm the special one and they're just jealous."

Nice weather, eh Mr Mourinho?

"F*** off. Now you want to put the blame on me. So what if the weather's good? You wanna ban me for the weather? Go ahead, losers. I don't care what you all think about me. I'm the special one."

You left your wallet in the restaurant, Mr Mourinho...

"Bloody hell, what's the problem with you? You would really enjoyed it if I get banned, wouldn't you? I knew it. You're just a sulker and you can't accept I'm the special one. Gimme back my wallet, you stupid prick."

(somebody talking to somebody else) So Michael, how was school today?

"F*** you. You have a secret agenda against me, don't you? I knew it. Darn losers just won't admit I'm the best around. School huh? Big deal. I tell you your school is trying to ban me for being special. Stupid school. Your stupid school sucks. Go home and cry to mommy, you prick."

I know, I'm exaggerating. So is Mourinho.

p/s: I'm feeling pretty guilty that I somehow forgot my best buddy's birthday. I'm sorry for that, was occupied with some other stuff. Anyway, that would be a lousy excuse, I shouldn't even have forgotten in the first place. So Nic, have a wonderful year ahead, and here's a belated 'HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!' wish from your old friend.