Monday, March 07, 2005

lost

Had a very horrible nightmare which startled me awake, and I couldn't fall back into sleep. So here I am, blogging again.

Let's just say I wanted to travel to this special destination. I was waiting for a suitable cab that would take me to that special place. A cab stopped and I got in. Then I saw another passenger in the cab, on his way to another destination. I got off from the cab, because I know the cab won't bring me to the place that I wanted to go. The cab already has another destination, and it wouldn't be fair to pick up another passenger along the way.

So there I was again, back waiting at the taxi stand, hoping another cab would turn up, a cab which will take me to where I wanted to go. I've waited for so long I can't remember, and when I had just made up my mind to give up, a cab turned up. This time, I made sure there wasn't any other passengers before I step into the cab. Initially, I thought this was it, my ticket to the special destination I had wanted to go to, and my heart was filled with so much happiness I can feel colourful butterflies flying inside of me.

But some things aren't meant to be when it was never meant to be. After a short distance, the cab stopped and picked up another passenger. I was devastated. It only took me a short while to decide to leave and wait for another cab. But I soon realize, that I've left my wallet in the cab. And I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. Without my wallet, how am I supposed to board another cab, anymore?

I did not ask for a lot. I only hope that the cab would turn back and return me my wallet. Or the least, give me a call to tell me you've left with my wallet and you can't return it, so that I would stop thinking about it, and work to earn enough money to buy a new one. Just don't leave me waiting here in the middle of nowhere, waiting for the same cab to come back, waiting for an explanation.

Suppose I will never come across the same cab again, then would that mean I will never board another cab anymore?

I don't know, and for now, I don't even think I care anymore.

Well, that wasn't the nightmare which kept me awake until dawn but rather, something related to it. It was just so terrible I felt like my heart was ripped out from my chest and was torn into little pieces. I never thought I will describe it in such a way, but yeah, that perfectly describes the feeling I am feeling now.

Funny how the exam blues can get me into such moody modes. Dang.

4 comments:

NiC said...

hey... what happened?

Jr. said...

aiyo, sounded very disturbing... chill bro!!!!

I will have my finals in 5 weeks. Blood has already started to boil and i am subconsciously in a freaking anxious mode...sigh. :P

Hang in there ;)

tomatoinc said...

somehow it's hard to post comments on your page. this is my 3rd attempts.

Dream interpretation
Your 'dream' if it's as you ve described it...seems to indicte you re trapped in a loop or something as such. You might be feeling that your life is not going anywhere, or your work is continuous.

Chill out..haha..just kidding.

Livingmonolith said...

haha, stupid papers always put me in bad mood. study hard people!