Saturday, December 24, 2005

feliz navidad...

It's a busy Christmas this year. As in 'labwork busy', not 'Christmas shopping busy'. I hope I won't have to spend it in the lab.

Merry Christmas everybody.

Friday, December 16, 2005

clash of the titans...

It's a repeat of last season's quarterfinal: Chelsea vs Barcelona.

Both teams went on to win their respective domestic titles last season, and this is definitely THE draw of the tournament. The next high profile draw sees Arsenal pitted against Real Madrid, both sides with great history but seemingly off form in recent times. Still a classic battle, nonetheless.

There's also another tough one in AC Milan vs Bayern Munich. Liverpool got a reasonably easy draw against Benfica, the team who knocked Man Utd out of the knockout phase. Let's hope they don't repeat the feat next February.

Rangers' decent run in the Champions' League will see them face debutants Villareal, Juventus earns a trip to Werder Bremen for finishing top of their group, and Ajax vs underachieving Inter Milan. PSV Eindhoven plays trigger-happy Lyon to complete the line-up in the last 16.

I sound like some British journalist, hahaha...

Btw, it has been revealed that Benitez's father had just passed away earlier in the week. Most leading sources in newspapers and websites had avoided the leakout of the news to allow Benitez himself to inform the journalists, which he did this morning. He will be returning to Spain after the Toyota Cup final on Sunday. My condolence to the boss.

You'll Never Walk Alone.


...Cisse has finally understood what Benitez wants from him?

After watching the Club World Championship earlier (which Liverpool won 3-0 against Deportivo Saprissa), I noticed a difference in Cisse's play throughout the entire match. Instead of the usual pacy sprints, he's getting more aware of advancing teammates. Instead of attempting shots on goal, he's laying balls to better-positioned players. Instead of mazy dribbles, he's putting in crosses.

In this match alone I see Cisse assisting in attacks more than I've seen in his entire Liverpool career. Maybe the man has finally realized that he's no longer the main man in the game and he needs to work on his overall contribution. Which is not a bad thing. What a great lay-off to Crouchie to score a superb early goal (and doubled his season's tally). The way he played Cisse is looking to make his claim in the team for a long run.

Benitez is doing a great job (now how many times have we heard people saying that?). And just to show that he's no softie, club captain Steven Gerrard was snapped by Benitez for trying to lay his fingers on the Championship trophy while posing for a photoshoot. 'You'll get to touch it if you win it.' What a guy, hahaha...

I am falling more in love with Liverpool each passing day.

On a different topic, I've been given the responsibility to design the biotech club's t-shirt. This is a good and fun assignment, I'll be able to take occasionally breaks from thesis labwork to work on the creative side of my brain. So far I've submitted 10 designs in 3 days, and I have to admit I'm feeling quite good seeing my work being complimented. The only low point is that this feeling of getting into the wrong profession is slowly eating me up from the inside. And my latest GPA isn't helping. I can now safely say that no matter what I do next semester, the closest to first class I can get is 0.03 from the cut-point. Damn.

Friday, December 09, 2005

the ego hasn't really landed...

Jose Mourinho.

I seriously don't know what's the matter with this dude here. He thinks everyone in the world is against him. Attention whore.

Ask him about Essien's horrendous tackle and he replies:

"I was telling him (Benitez) he was crying all the game. Referees are always very direct and strong to put me in my place, but other managers can do what they want. You can imagine if I do what Pearce did (he ran onto the pitch to place the ball for a freekick) for Mourinho it is a three-month ban."

What the hell? What was that? I see no connections whatsoever with Essien's crazy over-the-top tackle on Hamann. Which btw, that guy didn't even apologize.

You know, you can probably ask him any questions and he'll somehow relate it to himself.

So Mr Mourinho, what do you think of Man Utd's shock exit?

"Why'd you ask me? You want me to say they deserved it right? And the FA's gonna ban me 6 months for unsportmanship behaviour by saying that. To hell with them, I'm the special one and they're just jealous."

Nice weather, eh Mr Mourinho?

"F*** off. Now you want to put the blame on me. So what if the weather's good? You wanna ban me for the weather? Go ahead, losers. I don't care what you all think about me. I'm the special one."

You left your wallet in the restaurant, Mr Mourinho...

"Bloody hell, what's the problem with you? You would really enjoyed it if I get banned, wouldn't you? I knew it. You're just a sulker and you can't accept I'm the special one. Gimme back my wallet, you stupid prick."

(somebody talking to somebody else) So Michael, how was school today?

"F*** you. You have a secret agenda against me, don't you? I knew it. Darn losers just won't admit I'm the best around. School huh? Big deal. I tell you your school is trying to ban me for being special. Stupid school. Your stupid school sucks. Go home and cry to mommy, you prick."

I know, I'm exaggerating. So is Mourinho.

p/s: I'm feeling pretty guilty that I somehow forgot my best buddy's birthday. I'm sorry for that, was occupied with some other stuff. Anyway, that would be a lousy excuse, I shouldn't even have forgotten in the first place. So Nic, have a wonderful year ahead, and here's a belated 'HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!' wish from your old friend.

Monday, December 05, 2005


Why are some people just so damn selfish? Idiots, idiots, idiots!!!

I'm sitting here in my lab now, 8.50pm, 'supposedly' continuing with my research work for my thesis, but here I am typing this stupid post. Why? Because I have too much free time. Why? Because someone in the lab booked the equipment I would need to use to run my DNA analysis. For 20 bloody hours! Yes, that's really nice. Now all my hardwork for the entire day has gone down the drain. My extracted DNA can't survive for 20 bloody hours, you idiot! Your stupid tubes are still incubated in the PCR machine and they won't be ready until tomorrow noon, and you place your boric acid buffer and gel into the electrophoresis' casting tray today?

Go ahead, ask me why can't I take away the gel and run my analysis before placing it back. Good question. It's because I USE TRIS ACETIC ACID BUFFER, NOT BORIC ACID BUFFER, damnit! Oh, so why not use another casting tray? Because the lab has only ONE BLOODY tray, and I can't throw the gel now because I can't replace it later, since I don't have the necessary chemical solutions to prepare it again. Damn!

Damndamndamndamndamndamndamn... I feel like thrashing this PC now.

I shall now go home and enjoy a cup of coffee while reading 1421, but nonetheless, screw you you selfish idiot!

Thursday, December 01, 2005


These days I'm not feeling very proud to be a Malaysian.

Catch this. And this. And this. Lots more that I wanted to mention but I don't feel like searching back the archives.

Speaking as a Malaysian, I want these problems to be solved, not highlighted over and over again so to benefit certain parties or individuals or whatever shit crap purple goblin dinosaur that I don't even bloody care about. Stop the talk and walk the walk.

I want to see actions taken, but right now I feel like drowning in their salivas.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

it's only a pair of shoes...

Just watched 'Homerun' earlier on NTV7. If you've never heard of it or wondering what sort of movie is that, don't feel surprized. Cuz it's a movie co-produced locally (in Kuala Lumpur), featuring several veteran young kid actors from Singapore and the regular older actors you see. Honestly, I find the movie really good. In fact, I think it's better than 'I Not Stupid', another Singaporean movie which, incidently, has the same kid actors in it. I'm not really good in reviewing movies, but I think you guys should watch it.

The heartwarming story is set back in 1965 somewhere in some very kampung place, about a very poor boy and his younger sister, and a pair of torn old shoes. Yep, I didn't get that wrong. The whole story was about a pair of shoes.

The boy (Kun, played by Shawn Lee) was running an errand and lost his sister's white school shoes. With his mother pregnant and his father not earning much, he didn't ask to buy a pair of new shoes for his sister but instead, they share his pair. Since he attends class in the afternoon and the sister (Seow Fang, played by Megan Zheng) morning, she would be running to pass him the pair of shoes before he goes for classes daily. As a result, he ends up reaching late most of the time and is often scolded by the principal, even on the verge of getting expelled.

For all the detentions that he had, Kun's loyal friends stayed with him and helped him out, displaying the sort of true friendships we can barely see nowadays. There were some funny scenes too with the smart-alec remarks made by those young kids, it was so hilarious.

Of course, there's always a villain. Beng Soon (played by Joshua Ang) is the big brother of nearby school, a rich kid who struck a deal with Kun in which Kun does Beng Soon and friends' homework in exchange with 6 pairs of shoes for Kun and his poor friends' football practice, plus another pair for Kun's sister. After losing a match against Kun's team, Beng Soon then goes against his words and decided not to borrow Kun the shoes for his practice.

Meanwhile, sharing the same pair of shoes Kun soon finds his shoes beginning to wear out, and his sister is getting some really bad treatments from the teacher for wearing torn shoes to school. He then came across a notice of inter-school cross-country competition which offers a pair of shoes to the third-placed. It wasn't an easy race, since Beng Soon lined up beside him and thought he was challenging his superiority by taking part in the competition. Mid way through the competition, his shoes (the same old pair) got stuck in mud, and he had no choice but to continue the rest of the race bare-footed along the horrendous track.

At the same time, Kun's mother is about to give birth and his sister had to run across the village to get the 'bidan' (ok, I don't know how you call that in English), and her pair of slippers were torn midway too. Not forgetting to mention the terrible route, with broken pieces of glasses on the soil as she hobbled her way through.

Alas, luck wasn't on Kun's side. As he attempts to finish third in the race, he slipped in the final moment and fell across the finish line, ending up being first. As he stood on stage accepting his medal, he was in tears because he broke his promise of getting a new pair of shoes for his sister. He tried to exchange his medal with Beng Soon's shoes (he got third place) but mistaking it as a pity gesture, Beng Soon flung the shoes into the river. It was then one of Kun's best friend, Siew Hay stood out and questioned why the two group of young children had to be rivals instead of friends.

Kun and his sister both got new pairs of shoes in the end anyway. Beng Soon, finally realizing that he has been an ass all the while, gave them the shoes as presents before he leaves to study in England. They made up with a handshake and it marked the start of a new friendship despite the fact that they will be miles apart. Kun buries his torn shoes (which his best friends dug out from the mud) as to forget all the unhappy things that are now distant memories. With the new shoes, Kun and his sister are now staring at a new route with new obstacles, but now they know they can walk through any difficult journey as long as they're facing it together.

You know, writing out the storyline above doesn't really do justice to the movie. It is a very touching and sad story. A pair of shoes may sound ridiculous for a plot, but these kids showed perfectly how important is love and friendship in the movie despite the simplicity of the storyline. You don't need special effects or stunts to make a great movie. In this movie, there are only old wooden houses, singlets, worn out shoes and kids in old school uniforms, but it still brings out the values we would want to see in a movie. I kinda like the theme song too.

Even though we have nothing now, don't succumb into despair, for with the love that we have, it is as though we have everything in the world.

If you haven't watched it yet, I would recommend that you do. It's produced by Mediacorp's Raintree Pictures and directed by Jack Neo in the year 2003. Emil Chau made a cameo appearance too. Catch this article and this, hahaha... That's why we never see it in the cinemas. Water politics, ho boy... Anyway, I'm looking to get the DVD of 'Homerun'. It's giving me 'Chicken Soup' effects and I wouldn't mind watching it again.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

idiots called football pundits...

I am so tired listening to them condemning Peter Crouch week in week out. Surely there's better things to talk about rather than his 16 games without a goal, right?

Yes, the goal drought is a glaring stat, given that his position as a striker, but he can't be that bad as the motor-mouths describe. If we put it in a different angle, had Benitez bought Crouch as a midfielder, these buggers would have nothing to complain about. As much as he has been unlucky up in the penalty box, Crouch has shown that his game is beyond scoring goals: he makes them and he changes the gameplay. That's why I'm so pissed with what I read in the papers.

No doubt, I was not a fan of Peter Crouch when Benitez signed him, and I still am not. I believe for 7 million pounds we can get a quality striker with a respectable goals per game ratio. Peter Crouch is not that. Perhaps he will never be. But he is a striker with different qualities who offers other options, and so far I have been pretty impressed with his overall performance with the exception of a few games that I've watched. Therefore, I wouldn't say he's a bad signing. You want a bad signing? I'll name a few to refresh your mind. Bjorn Tore Kvarme, Phil Babb, Sean Dundee, Bernard Diomede, Mauricio Pellegrino, these are only few that I still remember donning the red shirt with the word 'disaster' written on their foreheads. Peter Crouch is definitely so much better.

Stop the Crouch bashing, and let's concentrate on Man Utd's possible Champions League exit. That's a so much better topic to cover.

Anyway, I'm done with my finals now, it's time to party, wahahaha... Will be having bbq with my housemates tomorrow night, and after that I'll have to start working on my thesis project again, damn. And please remind me to take the hard disk out from my computer and send it to some professional hackers to retrieve my important documents. Damn the blasted computer. I hate technology.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

for updating's sake...

Man, I wish to be her right now (not exactly 'her' lah, but receiving those gifts and crap). Camera phone wei, I'm 22 this year and I still can't afford one. Not even the old, huge, capable-to-kill-a-dog-when-it's-thrown-at-it sized handphone. Thank God my brother gave me his phone together with the prepaid line some years back, or else I'll still be living in seclusion.

I remembered the day when I scored straight As for UPSR 10 years ago, I was... wait, I don't remember what happened that day. It just went past like any other regular days in my ever-regular life. Hahaha, I guess no one really paid attention to UPSR back then compared to the media coverage nowadays.

Just to update, I'm actually in the middle of my final examinations. Had a paper this morning, there's another tomorrow, and another three next week, hence the disappearance from blogsphere. Nothing much that I wanted to blog about anyway.

To Mr Rational Thinker here,

probably should let you know that I am just considering the probability of roaming around in New Zealand after I graduate, providing that I am to be receiving some financial and moral support from my domestic sponsors (as in 'parents' if you don't get it), hahaha... I don't know, still early plans, nothing concrete yet. Would really love it if it happens, that would really dwarf my only other out-of-the-country trip (which happens to be the stinking city down south).

The suggestion came as a surprise to be honest. My family was sitting in the kitchen talking about their trips to overseas some time ago. South Korea, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Germany, Turkey, Egypt, UK, New Zealand, China, Germany, Italy, Austria, Holland, yadda yadda... Damn, I'm amazed at how many vacation trips my family had where they forgot to include ME. How pitiful. God bless my grandmother for bringing that up, and she asked if I wanted to tag along when she's visiting my aunt in NZ this coming May or June (of course I do! if I'm getting sponsors that is), perhaps can do a backpack trip once I get there. And I just thought of the idea to visit you if it really works out fine. Hahaha, I'll see if I can get any further with this plan. Will inform you if there are any updates on this. Till then, stay cool, and shed some weight dude. ; )

Okay, back to studies now. Spanish paper tomorrow. I'll try to express myself in a short paragraph.

Es muy frustrante, yo no estudio mucho espanyol esta semana. Pero yo penso la examen no es muy difficil. Nosotros estudiamos poco en la clase esta semestre, y las profesoras son muy simpaticas de cualquier manera. Yo voy estudio ahora. Hasta luego.

(It's very frusfrating. I didn't revise much spanish this week. But I think the exam won't be very hard. We only learn a little in class this semester, and the lecturers are very nice anyway. I'll go study now. See ya.)

Crap. It's damn hard to grind out the sentences. Bye now.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

THES world top 200 universities ranking 2005...

First of all, congratulations to UM for managing to stay in the top 200.

That's basically all I can compliment. Now, the ranting part.

Plunging 80 places from last year isn't something that we didn't expect. 89 was a bit overrated. Even at 169 I find it hard to believe. The current status of local universities is just so bad that I sometimes feel embarassed to say that I am doing my degree in one.

To say that we do not have the brains is nonsense. We have enough to drown the entire population of Singapore. But why is NUS still ranked above our country's most prestigious university? We all know the answer, it's just that no one wants to say it out loud.

Year in year out, we turn away our hopeful young talents, deeming them as not good enough to earn a place in the local unis. This is one example. Doing his degree in a university ranked 19th after being rejected by the 169th-placed UM. How on earth does that happen is beyond logic. And I assure you he is only one among thousands of similar cases over the decades. Think again. Don't you think there's something wrong in the education system?

It's about time the administration do something to improve the standards before we plunge deeper. Instead of putting up banners and billboard celebrating our 'Top 100 Uni' (which can be found everywhere in the campus), why not spend the money on something more practical, such as building more laboratories with better facilities?

I really really REALLY should stop blogging, my finals are coming soon, damnit!

Friday, October 28, 2005

several things in my mind now...

1) To the owner of the car with the plate number JJG 225,
I advise you to approach any car workshops and realign your car's headlight beam, cuz your stupid HID lights are BLINDING me YOU MORON!

2) I should start taking politics less seriously, like watching a cartoon or something. It's just laughable, really. But good entertainment nonetheless.

3) I don't mind people praising their religions and spreading them, but don't put down others while doing it. I never said your God played poker and has a beer belly, did I?

4) Midway through my thesis project and my labwork ends with no results. No RESULTS. How amusing, hahaha... In for a meeting tomorrow with my supervisor to discuss what went wrong. I really need something fluffy to punch at right now. Some dummies like Badruddin or bloggers who address themselves as a third person. So that I can reduce stress while doing good for the community.

5) Freddie Aguilar's 'Anak' (a Tagalog song) is a really nice song.

6) Damn you, I fast when I want to fast, so what's your problem? When did the rules said only Muslims can fast? Clueless bimbos.

7) How exactly does Ethidium Bromide work in gel electrophoresis? Damn, this question is bugging me like hell. I can't believe I can't answer when my pharmacy housemate asked me that. It reflects UV light to emit the glow you see in the gel analyzer. Ok. But it was into the agarose gel during preparation, so why doesn't the entire gel glow and reflect the UV beam? Good question. How, damnit, how?!

8) Please let 'Corpse Bride' be a good movie, cuz I'm watching it tomorrow night. Please, please pretty please.

9) I like the idea of wearing tudung in universities (for the ladies obviously, duh). Just like how I wished I had the chance to wear baju Melayu to school back then. I thinks that's quite cool. But let's not make it a compulsory thing. It kills the joy.

10) Study, you idiot, study. There are only 3 weeks to Finals!

Sunday, October 23, 2005


Watched the movie on Thursday midnight, would've been one heck of a movie, even for non-football fans.

An inspirational movie with all the ingredients we would want to see in a football movie, Goal! would be ranking among the top movies I've ever watched. Of course, I'm somewhat biased since I'm a football fan.

Kuno Becker did well in his role as an illegal immigrant from Mexico going through various obstacles to achieve his dream as a professional footballer. As the storyline develops, we can see more and more similarity of how football is worshipped as a religion in UK, and how a promising youngster struggles (and successfully) to make it big in one of the top clubs in England.

The supporting cast aren't bad themselves. I'm surprised to see Alessandro Nivola speaking British English so fluently despite being an American. Marcel Iures looks so convincing as the Newcastle manager it makes me wonder why Souness is still lingering in Tyneside. Stephen Dillane is the nice bloke who did everthing he could to make sure Santiago Munez thrives in the big stage. And there are no harms done with a few cameo appearances by the huge football stars from Real Madrid and Newcastle.

This is the movie to watch if you're an EPL fan, even for a Liverpool fan like me (although I have to stress that they lied about the results in the last game).

I think I'll be away for while in the coming weeks, the final examination's coming up soon in a few weeks time, so don't expect any regular updates.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

why i hate door-to-door direct sales...

I'm wondering if direct sales have stooped this low.

Today a salesperson turned up at the door and enquired about the condition of the gas tank (whatever you call it, I can't remember) in my house. Having just returned home the night before (I stay with my uni mates, remember?), I had no idea how is it functioning now and naively told him that. He then asked me to check the serial number printed on the pipe which connects the gas tank and stove, which I couldn't find.

He then proceeded to volunteer himself to examine it himself. Suspecting that something could be wrong, I declined his offer and politely asked him to leave.

I told my mother about the incident later and found out that another salesperson dropped by a few days ago. That time, my mother allowed him to come in and check the serial number on the pipe. The salesperson spent some time disassembling the pipes and stuff before recommending my mother to buy his type of pipe which is 'supposingly' better and safer. My mother didn't want to and asked him to leave his company's contact numbers so that we can call him if we really need it. He was reluctant and didn't give it, and then left rudely after fixing back the pipe.

Later that night, my grandmother came over to cook dinner as my parents were out. She was about to start cooking when she smelt something weird in the kitchen, and after examining the gas stove, she found out that the pipe was loosely fitted and the gas was leaking.

I don't know whether it was intentional or not, but one thing I know for sure is that it can cause some serious accidents had my grandmother not found out about it so soon.

That salesperson is lucky we have no way to trace him nor his company. The next time he comes around, I'll definitely screw him up before sueing his pants off for attempted murder. Pathetic bastard.

Monday, October 10, 2005

this blog of mine...

Note to self: Will be sitting for Spanish language test in approximately 10 hours. Must try to finish posting in half an hour.

I have nothing in particular to blog about.

Probably suffering from a burnout, or I've just lost interest, either one, I don't know. Somehow I feel that blogging isn't what it used to be.

I started blogging for two reasons:
1) being harassed to start blogging by a bunch of old friends who were (and some still are) blogging; and
2) to keep in touch with my close friends and to let them know what I'm up to.

Frankly, I'm really grateful to those who bugged me to create this blog, so to connect myself with my close friends who are now scattered all over the world. Although it has only been a little over a year, I can't imagine how my social life would have been without it.

But somewhere along the line I have a feeling that I am still losing touch. I don't know what went wrong. I don't know where are my friends, I don't know what they're busy with, and I don't know how they're living their lives. We don't share our lives the way we used to.

Perhaps age is catching up with me, with all of us. At 22 I'm in the phase between teen age and adulthood. Changes are happening everywhere. Some have started working, some are in their final years, and some I don't even have any ideas of their whereabouts. Everyone are drifting away slowly.

I miss those days when I can hang out at my friends' houses and talk crap till dawn. Days when we can just go have a drink at a nearby mamak whenever I feel hungry at night. Days when we can just knock off our shoes anytime and play a silly 3-3 football game. Days when we could hit the midnight movies and rant about it after the show. Days when we drove around town for hours in the middle of the night without a destination. Days when we beat the heck out of the birthday boy.

At this moment, I don't think blogging can fulfill what I want. It's just a journal to keep all my thoughts and I don't really need to remind myself of all the things that I never wanted to remember in the first place. I'm tired of facing the computer every single day and chat using the keyboard.

I am sick of internet life.

Monday, October 03, 2005

i can imagine kam choking in his saliva while laughing...

Ah, Liverpool got a good thrashing by Chelsea in the league tonight. Not a very kind scoreline too, 4-1 (I can hear Kam's thumping footsteps speeding here to spam my blog with his 'awesome Chelsea' comments).

What the hell, Liverpool didn't turn the magical European nights' mode on and save Gerrard's goal, there were nothing to be proud of. Deservedly beaten by a better side, although two goals came from swift counterattacks. Benitez decided to take a gamble by taking off Hyypia and Traore, and eventually paid the price. Not really with options considering both the players having horrendous games. Traore's a walking disaster. I hope Mourinho comes up with a 50million pound bid to sign that guy. His fakes can't even deceive schoolboys, and his legs never get untangled when dribbling.

I don't understand why Liverpool can be so different from the way they play in European games.

Drogba and Carvalho both did really well, so much better than Wednesday night. Jose Mourinho must be commended for his tactical interpretations. Can't say the same for Benitez. Leaving out Cisse (again?) and 4-5-1 at home is just what everyone are complaining right now. We're asking to be shot at the foot.

Last game before international break, I'll be taking a football-related-blogging hiatus and spend more time in completing my presentation and preparing for tests. Don't worry, still around to blog about other stuff in life,, like... you know, I think I'll tell you when i come up with a post in the near future, okay?


Update: Just found out that Mahathir was in VI recently, as stated in this blog. No idea what it was for though, can't read the words in the backdrop. Saw Ms Shanti's face in one of the photos. Go have a read, you ex-Victorians.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

chelsea's lucky escape...

With all due respect, I honestly believe that Liverpool should've won the match easily, even with Chelsea's impressive defence. It was funny but all of Liverpool's three best chances actually came from controversial moments. Drogba's tackle from the back on Hyypia (replay shows that it was a clear penalty), Fereira was apparently tugging back Garcia as he break through the defence (not really a valid claim since there was no way Garcia could reach the ball before Cech anyway) and Gallas' handball. Penalty claims were dismissed in all three incidents.

I'm wondering what does it take for the referee to award a spotkick, perhaps Carvalho holding an M-16 and shoots down all Liverpool players in sight? (in the penalty box, of course)

This reminds me of all the bad memories from last season. Tiago's handball clearance went unpunished in last season's league encounter. And let's not forget that if Garcia's goal was not allowed in the Champions' League semifinal, Peter Cech would've been off for flattening Milan Baros before that. All that, and I can't believe Jose Mourinho has the nerves to bullshit that lot.

Chelsea's best moment came when Robben hit a nice shot from outside the box which was flapped out by Reina.

Xabi Alonso had a great game, making splendid interceptions throughout the entire match from his holding position. However, I am somewhat unimpressed with the way he tried to get Chelsea players' into the referee's book, not very ethical really.

A good point earned, but the truth is two points were lost in this match. Lucky lucky Chelsea.

Let's hope Chelsea won't revert back to their league form this weekend. It'll be dangerous to think that Liverpool can repeat this feat, especially when our own form is in the pits.

On another subject, it's election day today in the campus. This year I've decided to cast my votes after skipping the last two year's voting. Hey, not really my fault okay? The first year I had an exam, and the second I was forced to cast my vote in some college far away. Anyway, I see better situations this year compared to last year's, although there are still dirty and flawed procedures leading up to the election itself. I will not go into details, you'll have to understand what problems I may face for revealing the facts. So perhaps we can talk about this over mamak if you really want to know, or if you happen to reach this blog by accident and doesn't know me, I'm glad to discuss with you over dinner provided that you send me a picture of yourself (applies to pretty girls only). Hahaha... kidding. Yeah, I know it's not funny. I've lost my touch, damn...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

FF 7 advent children: i've watched it, wahahaha...

Damn, Liverpool drew again. Pretty sad case, but like what Alex Ferguson said, we are now playing simply not to lose the match. I have to agree with that scum (I hate myself for saying that), Liverpool's getting too cautious in recent games we don't look like scoring, though that short spell of goal spree was sorta nerve-wrecking. Five games into the season, and already 14 points behind Chelsea, this is a long long looonnnggg season. (Yeah, yeah, Kam, you get to brag this time, but don't overdo it cuz I'm getting bored).

Let's talk about something else.

Hey, I've watched 'Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children'!!! Wahahaha, this feels great. Just this morning I was busy searching and asking people around about it. I should've figured out earlier that my cousin would've got it already since she's a big anime fan. By evening the vcds (original wei...) were already in my hands, bwahahaha... Was all excited, but waited until I'm done watching the Liverpool game (sigh) and Malaysian Idol 2 before I played the movie.

There WILL be spoilers ahead, so bugger off if you don't wanna know the plot.

I've been looking forward for this movie ever since it was announced to be in production, primarily since FF VII was the first RPG game I played on PlayStation. The game was mind-blowing, and I've never played another better one since then. It was one of my favourites along with 'Shining Force' of Sega which came out around mid 90s.

Overall, the movie's nice, although I have some difficulty understanding the whole storyline (it was in Japanese, with horrible English subtitles). Can't recall certain characters in the movie, Zack in particular. Wondering who the hell is he, probably some character from Cloud's memory. I played the game around year 2000, I can only vaguely remember what was the story.

Anyway, I'm still very satisfied because all the playable characters returned in the movie, even Cait Sith! I read somewhere online where they left the small cat out from the movie, and I was wondering if the rest of the characters are going to make cameo appearances only. Luckily that didn't happen. And boy, what a cool battle they had with Bahamut. Reno and Rude added some comic relief in the intense movie, nice.

One of the best scenes in the entire movie was the fight between Tifa and the Silver-Haired Man. It was fantastic, the battle soundtrack gave me goosebumps. And the famous victory soundtrack, hahaha, very creative touch.

Everything in the movie brought back nostalgic and fond memories. The colourful materias, the special limit moves, Cloud's stylish buster sword, the comical Reno and Rude, Vincent Valentine's dashing and cool moves (man they really have to make him that cool huh?), Yuffie's childish whines, the guardian, whew, just every bloody damn thing damnit!

Oh, and nicely done, the red ribbons on every one of those main playable characters' left arms. Read from somwhere in the internet saying that they were for the remembrance of Aeris (she's in the movie too btw). Very sentimental. A great ending to the best Final Fantasy ever made.

p/s: on a totally different subject, I hope there won't be any more debates about the MI2 outcome. I mean, if you hate Daniel that much you should've sent more SMSes for Nita to win right? Not that I think that Daniel's better, but I think he won it pretty fair and square (don't forget, you Malaysia voted for him). Let's all be a bit more graceful, at least it provided good entertainment for a good 2-month stint. I'm not a big fan of MI2, just happened to catch the finals cuz all my housemates are hooked. I wonder what they'll do on Friday and Sunday nights now.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

okay, i'm very desperate now...

Not really sure what you guys have in mind after reading the title, but I'm pretty sure you guys got it wrong anyway.

Can anyone tell me where the hell can I get 'Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children'? Pirated or original, I don't care, I just wanna watch that damn movie. Downloads are acceptable too, if you guys don't mind sending it to me.

Do some charity, save this poor soul by satisfying his needs. Pretty please?

Monday, September 19, 2005

happy mooncake festival...

It’s Mooncake Festival tonight. Or rather, last night. Whatever. Took some pictures and here they are:

Enjoying the moonlight outside.

With a couple of posers.

While watching Malaysian Idol 2.

With cocktail and mooncakes on the table.

And a couple of Mooncake Festival SMS wishes.

A celebration of friendship.

Happy Mooncake Festival my friends.

p/s: Sorry for the blurry shots. Blame it on the cheap camera, what to do…

Sunday, September 18, 2005

the malayland...

Was reading a link posted by my friend rational thinker here, and man, it really prompted me to put my brains in working mode now.

It's pretty fascinating to find that there are still such fanatics living in our country. I will not argue that Malaysia is a country dominated by Malays, hence the bumiputera status and privileges, but why condemn diversity? In any situation, I was born in Malaysia, and despite of Chinese heritage, you can't possibly say I'm not Malaysian. So what if my ancestors came from China? It won't make me any less of a Malaysian even though I can speak other languages. This is just sad.

Secondly, language is a very important communication tool. Personally, I feel very proud to be able to communicate in three different languages, all three among the 10 most spoken languages in the world. And I'm currently taking Spanish as an extra language paper, which is btw the 4th most spoken language in the world. I don't think there are any harm done by using any of these languages as mediums to reach out to other cultures and countries. Why limit yourself to what you already have when you can achieve more? Think globally, not locally.

Oh, and stop calling our country Malayland. We switched it to Malaysia a long time ago.

football blues...

Hahaha, I just can't stop laughing when I think about Everton.

Fourth place last season? Big deal. Above Liverpool in the table? Big deal.

Champions League place? Sorry guys, but we booked our tickets. And you guys really got yourselves in some deep shit with that humiliating defeat. In the UEFA Cup first round.

Thanks for proving to everyone that last season was just an accident.

Sorry to bother you guys, bluenoses I mean. Just continue doing what you guys are to do: fighting for your lives in the relegation zone.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

keep up the good work...

It's okay, just keep on smoking like there's no tomorrow. Won't like there are any tomorrows anyway if you don't get to smoke. Whatever that keeps you happy. Don't worry about your lungs, they won't get stained with tar that fast. Well, at least it's not really that apparent in the first ten years. Don't worry about mine too. Or the pregnant lady's sitting at the next table. Or the old man's standing beside you. I mean, get real, it's not like those are your lungs, right? Not really your problem if they can't stand the smell of cigarettes. It's not really that expensive of a hobby too btw. Definitely more worth it than donating to charity, haha. Come on, it's just cigarettes. What's life if you don't get to enjoy, right? Life's too short. That's right, you totally hit the spot my dear.

YOUR life is definitely gonna be too short for you to enjoy.

Have fun. I really mean it.

Friday, September 09, 2005


Man, this is not good. Just found out that my eyesight has worsen since the last time I had a checkup, which was like almost 3 years ago.

Anyway, that's not the important thing here. The main thing I wanna say is that I've decided to change my spectacle frames. Yes, after 5 whole years wearing this ultra thick-framed Gucci spectacles I think it's about time to change a little on my appearance.

I've purchased a smaller frame-less brown spectacles with tinted glasses. Probably will look slightly awkward at first sight, since I've never put on any small spectacles before. I wanted to sound more excited but I couldn't express it out in words. Not like I'm really excited right now, though. I'll still wear the old one when I go for football games. More durable, you see. At least it won't break when Ang hits the ball mighty hard right in my face like what he used to do.

Don't be surprised when you meet me the next time we go out for a drink. ; )

Sunday, September 04, 2005

taking a break to blog stupid issues...

Psstt, don't tell anyone else, but I got into a police officer's record book a couple of days ago. Nothing biggie really, I was in Putrajaya Friday night taking photos with some friends, celebrating my last test before the midsem break. Something about people always commit suicide there or something like that, he said. Bugger, it's not like we look like we're gonna commit some mass suicide for some satanic ceremony. There goes my good reputation, stained with that stupid record.

So, finally the holiday break's here. It certainly doesn't have that kind of joyful feeling though, for I have to spend the whole week back in the lab, again, to continue on my project. And prepare for my presentation the following week; I was unfortunately picked to be the first to present in the class. And then there's a test 2 days after that. And another test the following week. Crap. Am I even on holiday now?

Studies aside (not really, but whatever), I've been reading a lot of blogs recently. And I'm sort of hooked with the 'stupid tourist in KL' issue. You'll know who I'm talking about if you keep track in PPS. That's a great read.

I've never been a fan of that particular blogger but I won't say that I hate her. She writes good stuff, pretty intelligent too. Too bad she has some kind of attitude problem. It's not easy to own a blog read by thousands of people daily, complete with posts that diss off people like it's nobody's business. I would have difficulty juggling that, but she seems to be handling it quite well. She's not completely wrong in her post about KL, but that doesn't mean she got it all right.

She voiced out her opinions, so did others. Fair right? She can say that 'bloody KL-ians are a bunch of rude, tiko (sorry no idea what that is), uncivilised and dishonest people', so why can't I say she's a stuck-up bitch who's full of herself? (btw, I personally think that she gives herself way too much credit on her 'good looks') And what, cutting queues is rude huh? So using the toilet for the 'handicapped' isn't? Sweeeet...

Yeah, yeah, Malaysia's an underdeveloped country, we suck in this, we suck in that, whatever you wanna say. So much for a country whose government banned chewing gums because their citizens have a fetish of sticking the chewed gums on MRT's sliding doors.

Yeah, I know insulting the country is cheap, but I only learned it from that blog.

"Malaysians, if you still decide to be rude and uncivilised, just think of the image you are protraying for your own country. Not good at all."

All these, coming from the mouth of a rude and uncivilised Singaporean. How ironic.

Yes, I didn't like that post, so I too can complain in MY blog.

But enough of complains, I think I'll go get a chewing gum. Yum.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

selamat hari merdeka daripada batu bernyawa(?)...

Ya, mata-mata saudara/i tidak bermasalah. Saya memang sedang menaip dalam Bahasa Melayu untuk entri 31 Ogos ini. Sempena hari kemerdekaan, sebagaimana yang sedang dilakukan oleh kebanyakan penulis belog kebelakangan ini.

Hakikatnya, penulisan ini memang merupakan suatu cabaran yang besar. Bukannya saya tidak berkebolehan untuk menulis dalam BM, tetapi perlulah ada di sisi sebuah kamus dwibahasa untuk membantu penterjemahan beberapa perkataan yang saya tidak dapat luahkan sebagaimana yang saya kehendaki (cuba bayangkan 'livingmonolith = batu bernyawa?).

Oleh kerana penulisan ini adalah menggunakan BM tulen, maka saya tidak mahu menggunakan perkataan-perkataan yang membawa sedikit sebanyak bentuk pertuturan rojak ( contoh: wahlau eh, fulamak, rilek, brader, dll). Ya, pertuturan harian saya memang sebegitu rojak, dan ia menambahkan lagi tahap cabaran saya untuk menulis dalam BM tulen.

Entri ini tidak mempunyai apa-apa mesej yang nyata, cuma sekadar satu lagi entri untuk memberitahu kalian kita akan menyambut hari kemerdekaan pada hari ini. Saya juga tidak berpeluang untuk ke mana-mana hari ini, kerana pensyarah saya hendak melihat laporan amali kita di atas meja beliau pada pagi esok. Terpaksalah berdepan dengan komputer saya sepanjang hari ini untuk menyiapkannya. Dan dengan satu ujian pada hari Jumaat, sememangnya hilanglah sebarang rancangan yang seronok. Sudahlah itu, malam semalam telah keluar minum dengan seorang rakan dari universiti yang baru tiba balik KL dari Sibu dan saya tidak kembali rumah sehingga pukul 4 pagi. Aduh, peritnya kehidupan macam ini.

Selamat menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan kali ke-48, rakan-rakan sekalian. Saya perlu menyambung penulisan laporan saya. Jangan bimbang, entri yang berikutnya akan ditulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris semula.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

please tell me it's a joke...

Michael Owen to Newcastle United?

Heck, I seriously didn't see that coming.

If you ask me, I'd rather see Liverpool sign a right-wing less and get Owen back to Anfield. Talks about Stelios and Tom and Dick aren't really materializing yet, but Owen WANTS to return to Liverpool. He's desperate to resign for Liverpool. What else can we ask for?

I know many still can't forgive him for walking out the door when the club didn't do well, but he never said a single bad thing about Liverpool during his spell in Madrid. Come on, we all know Owen's a Red, and he'll remain one. Even though he might be donning Newcastle's zebra stripes in the near future.

Sign Michael Owen, I say. We can compensate the bad defence with Owen's 20-odd goals. Don't make me weep seeing Owen getting a hattrick against us.

Monday, August 22, 2005


You know, sometimes life is just too short and fragile to reflect back at all the unhappy things that have happened...

Probably we should just live life simple, and be happy no matter what.

It's just not worth the hassle.

What's important lies in ahead of us, and it's up to us whether or not to walk forward and let go of the past.

Life's filled with too much great things. You know there are so much happiness out there.

Have you found it?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

orientation: good or bad?

I’ve just read an article in The Star submitted by a ‘Worried parent’ regarding local universities’ orientation programmes.

With all due respect, I have to voice out my disagreement. Not that ‘worried parent’ didn’t have his/her valid reasons, but I do not think that prohibiting the orientation programmes will benefit the students. I, for one, believe that these orientations shape up the current crop of students into becoming better persons in their future lives.

Let’s face it; you and I both know how pampered youngsters nowadays are. Handphones when you turn 12, police reports when your kids got caned, etc etc. The list goes forever. But that’s not what I’m trying to stress. You can buy your son a new bungalow for his 10th birthday if you feel like it and I won’t be jealous. But I just can’t stand people younger than me showing me no respect because their parents never taught them about it.

That’s right. Respect.

I don’t deny most students who came into local universities are brilliant individuals. But sometimes it gets into their heads. They think they’re the best around and therefore need not respect others, and I’m not talking about just seniors. The staff in residential colleges, the aunties who work in the kitchen, the cleaning lady, and even the lecturers.

Don’t believe it? ‘Worried parent’, you ought to come into the campus and see with your own eyes.

Over two years that I’ve spent in the university, I have seen many rude juniors who think of no one else besides themselves. Coming for classes, go for meals, and lock themselves in their rooms. They don’t greet anyone who passes by, they wear shorts to public places (which is very rude when you’re staying together with people from various ethnics), insult the aunties who spend all day cooking their breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I don’t even want to talk about how they treat the cleaning lady who washes their dirty toilets. Is that what you want your son to be doing? Nothing but just a rude booksmart?

Being a junior once, I've experienced similar situations too, or perhaps even worse. If I can go through it, along with thousands of people who went through the local tertiary education every year, what makes your son so special that he is to be exempted? The way you put it makes your son sounds like a wimp.

We do not orientate juniors merely for fun and revenge. There is a meaning behind everything we do. We’re trying to create a bond between seniors and juniors so that in the future we can help each other when problems arise. And we try to teach them valuable knowledge on various aspects in becoming a better man, not just a top scorer who doesn’t care a squat.

Orientations bring all of us together. We want to treat everyone as family. That’s what we’re trying to instill to the juniors who has just stepped into our ‘second home’. I agree some parts of the orientation are unnecessary, but we mean no harm. Why in the world would we want to orientate a junior for no reason? Do you think we have nothing else better to do? I have my own final year project going on, enough that I’m already taking extra credit hours this semester, and I still go back to help out with the orientation programmes in my former residential college. Do you think I really enjoy that?

No, I don’t. But I’m doing it nonetheless. Just for the sake of bringing the juniors to see the outside world, to gain valuable experiences that you can never retrieve once you’ve missed it.

‘Worried parent’, try not to criticize the seniors in the university without knowing the entire truth. I don’t think your son told you the whole story in his uni life. I know a friend from the medical faculty who personally prepared soups for the juniors every day throughout their orientation. She said she’s afraid the juniors couldn’t cope with their new surrounding, more so as the weather’s getting nasty lately. She’s having her finals the following week, but she said she felt obliged to do that. I bet your son didn't tell you that.

Last year during my college orientation, I was in the middle of a lecture when a friend called me to help bring a junior to the hospital because she sprained her ankle. I spent the entire day with her in the hospital and missed a whole day’s lectures and lab. But I’m not complaining, because I’m doing what I’m supposed to do as a senior. That she understood why we want them to approach us during orientation is good enough, and I don’t regret to have done what I’ve done.

I hope that ‘Worried parent’ will change his/her perception on us seniors. We’re not power-crazy people who enjoy torturing juniors. Your son will understand why we’re doing all these when he enters his second year in uni.

And I hope by then he can proudly tell you he’s sacrificing a hell lot to help bring the juniors out to see the outside world, just like what we’re trying to do now. I'm sure your perspective on these orientations will change in the near future.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

the workaholic...

My labmate commented that I am a one. Kinda true I would say; tonight (Friday) is the fifth night in a row I work overtime in the lab for my final year project. And by night I actually mean wee hours in the morning (p/s: it's 2am now). Scary huh?

Given a choice I wouldn't want to be doing this too (what? you think I enjoy staying overnight in the lab for the entire week?). Too bad the project requires me to do so, and I'm left with no option. Right now the only times I go home are when I need to take a shower and probably to catch some short naps. Classes from morning till evening, and lab from evening till morning.

I wonder if anyone else are taking their final year projects as seriously as I do. A couple of my coursemates stayed overnight for a few times before, but that's it. I haven't seen others spending so much time on their projects. I think I'll fall sick soon.

After this gruesome week, I feel like taking a break from my project and concentrate on my other assignments and tests. Three weeks into the new semester and I haven't started reading any lecture notes yet. Next friday's progress report meeting with my lecturer would be the perfect time to inform her about my decision. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

Right now I'll have to go back to my work. Hopefully I'll finish it in time to have breakfast with my housemates. Haven't really spent time with them for the past week.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

what benefits do i get for donating my blood?

I hate it when people ask me what benefits they get for donating blood or platlet.

What? Are you selling your blood now?

If you don't have the heart to donate, then you don't have to do it. No one's forcing you.

But if you've never done it before, then don't try to act smart and be philosophical about it. I don't really appreciate it when you try to imply that I'm stupid just because I spend hours in the transfusion unit extracting a mere 30ml of platlet from my blood.

I am saving a leukemia patient's life. What the f*** have you done?

If you think saving half a liter of your blood is more important than saving another person's life, then you ought to shut up when strangers don't lend you a helping hand when you desperately need it.

Stop asking for favours from people when you're not giving them.

Friday, July 22, 2005

thank you all...

Disconnected from the cyberworld for a week and now here I am, blogging from the library on a Friday night. Was working on some research but what the heck, I need a break.

Anyway, thanks you guys for the birthday wishes. This year's birthday was celebrated in a quite awkward way. My birthday clashed with my former residential college's 'supper nite', which is one of the main orientation agendas for the chinese community in the college. Feels weird having so many people together, but I can't complain much since I get to meet a lot of college friends who moved out over the last couple of years. And a call from New Zealand too, haha, thanks man.

I'll be returning to Penang next Friday to obtain my samples for my final year project. Just finished making arrangements today, and now I have an 'assistant' who'll be following me there. One problem solved, now I need to concentrate on my lab reports due next week.

You know, I really wanna blog about the NEP thing, but I'm a bit too drained to write intellectually right now. We all know it's a common and stupid issue, so why should I even bother anymore right? Some people never learn and I'm getting tired voicing out opinions when there ain't really any freedom of speech in this place because in the end I'll only get blasted by people who thinks they know every single bloody thing.

The only nice thing in my life now is getting to have a cup of coffee in the middle of every night. And learning Spanish. Okay. Two things.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

irresponsible driver...

My housemate was hit by a car last night while riding his motorcycle. It was a hit and run accident, the driver drove off before my housemate can even stand up after falling down in the middle of an X junction.

It happened inside our university's campus. The car was approaching the junction but didn't stop. He's probably illiterate and can't read the 'BERHENTI' signboard. Luckily my housemate was riding his bike at low speed and there weren't any cars coming behind him after he was knocked down. My housemate was so shocked he couldn't recall how he fell from his bike, and at that time he didn't thought of checking the car's plate number (or maybe it's because the car sped off instantly).

Irresponsible bastard.

I can't believe there are people out there who can do such a thing. Even though my housemate didn't have any serious injuries (he has some bruises on his legs and a bad cut on his left arm), who knows what can happen if a vehicle passes by at the same junction after that?

My housemate was on his way to his girlfriend's place for a bbq party but had to return back home to nurse his injuries. We were initially surprised to see him coming home so soon, but thank God he was able to ride his wrecked bike all the way back to our house. He's okay now, but we're not very sure about the bike.

I hope that driver will suffer from many sleepless nights feeling guilty for what he did. And then dies choking on tofu.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

busy summer for liverpool...

Liverpool's summer break this year has been very exciting for fans like me.

After emerging thriumphant in the Champions' League final against AC Milan, players around the world are keen to join Liverpool whenever the club expresses some interest. This is a good sign for LFC after so many years lingering as the 'sleeping giant'. To be really honest, for as long as I have supported Liverpool, there is only 1 trophy left I have yet to witness at Anfield; the domestic title. FA Cup, League Cup, UEFA Cup, Charity Shield, European Super Cup, Champions' League, all in the space of 4 years. Not trying to boast but that's a pretty remarkable feat, I don't quite believe it myself. But nothing is more important than being the league champions, and I believe this will be the mentality instilled in the players for the coming season.

We saw several players departing Liverpool in recent weeks, cult heroes Igor Biscan and Vladimir Smicer both went to foreign clubs. Others who left are Chris Kirkland (loan deal to West Brom) El-Hadji Diouf, Mauricio Pellegrino, Bruno Cheyrou, Alou Diarra, Richie Partridge (exciting young player), and a few reserve team players.

Some players signed new contracts which will tie them up for a few more seasons, the most recent ones being Jamie Carragher and skipper Steven Gerrard. Prior to this Didi Hamann and Djimi Traore penned new deals too.

Some young players look set to be featured more often in this coming season. We saw Stephen Warnock coming through the ranks last season and did a good job. John Welsh, Darren Potter and Zak Whitbread are speculated to be more involved this season.

Then there are these new faces in the squad. Jose Reina, Boudewijn Zenden, Mohamed Sissoko, Mark Gonzalez (1 year loan deal), and Antonio Barragan. Luis Figo is pleading Real Madrid to terminate his contract so he could join Liverpool, and Benitez is still keen on Peter Crouch (personally, I think £6.5m is a big joke). Also, previously it was reported that Liverpool are chasing young Lincoln City defender Jack Hobbs.

If you ask me, I would love to see a top striker and defender signing before the season begins. Pablo Aimar and Matthew Upson are exciting links, but I am no expert in this. Besides, I'm sure Benitez has some names in his wishlist.

4-3 for Liverpool against Wrexham with both Morientes and Baros scoring a brace. I can't wait for the season to start.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

happy 53rd birthday, mum...

It's my mother's birthday today, came back home just for the occasion so I can go out for dinner together with my family. It's been a while since the last time we went out together for dinner. I can't remember having any ever since my grandfather had a stroke early last year. It's not really that convenient eating out.

Anyway, midway through the dinner my uncle told my mum that he saw me with a girl watching movie last month and asked me when I'm bringing her to meet the parents. Wah lau, damn pai seh wei. I choked on a mushroom and almost died of embarassment. I remember telling him that she's only a friend. I don't get what's the fuss is all about, no one gives a damn when I go watch movies with Pao Ko. But nevermind lah, I always tell my mum who I go out with so she knows pretty much how's my social life. Saved by my mum.

Tomorrow night will be the first official meeting for the third year seniors of Second Residential College. Sounds a bit funny that I'm somehow involved; I moved out after first year. But since all my housemates are 'bigshots' in the Tiong Hua Society, previously known as Chinese Community group (CC), I'm gonna be dragged along too. Not that I have a lot to do there, this year the college has no Science undergrads at all for the first time, so there aren't any juniors for me to look forward to in the upcoming orientation. Damn out of place I tell you.

Gonna pack up my stuff tomorrow morning and shift them to PJ, including this computer. No line over there yet, so the only way to blog is through the faculty's computer lab, which is always full anyway (despite having about 100 computers). Don't fret if you guys don't see me blog that often. Just stay nice and fuzzy.

Monday, July 04, 2005

back to uni...

Blogging from faculty's computer lab, gonna be quick.

Just came back from Redang last week, and now I'm back to PJ already, lagging behind in my research work. Need to spend more time in the lab and settle my stuff fast before the semester starts, and it's not easy since most places in the uni are restricted because of the orientation week.

Went to watch 'War of the Worlds' last night, not bad but the ending's kinda unexpected. What a crappy end.

And I think I'm too tanned right now, just now a couple of chinese girls walked into the computer lab and asked me questions in Malay. I replied in English but they kept going on rambling.

And my skins on my shoulders are peeling off and this sucks.

Note to self: Next time remember to apply sunblock on shoulders!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

next destination: redang island

Originally I intended to get back home here last night, but I thought it would be troublesome for my mom to come pick me up at Puduraya at night, so I 'troubled' my housemates instead. I stayed overnight in PJ and came back home in the afternoon today.

The trip to Penang was ok. Not really Penang actually, more like the borderline between Penang and Kedah. I think that area is called Ara Kuda or something like that, but I couldn't make confirmations cuz the I couldn't communicate with anyone there. You know, slangs and stuff like that. I think the Chinese community there speaks Hokkien, and the Malays have a mixture of local slang. Either way, I found myself a bit lost. I am pretty sure I ordered 'teh ping' (iced milk tea) but the man brought me a cup of hot coffee instead. And when I asked the makcik in the canteen whether I can refill some water she made me a cup of Milo. My supervisor said I will pick up the local slang after a few trips.

Spent 2 days out in the plantation field making assessments for my research. Collected some raw data and need to analyze and create some significant numbers so I can propose some of my ideas to my lecturer next week. Bloody, I hate statistics. But the field assessment was a great experience. Never thought I could learn so much stuff in one trip. I can do without the hot sun though...; )

My next stop will be Redang Island. Not for work but leisure. Will be travelling with Pao Ko, Nic and his girlfriend. Leaving tomorrow night. Man, a bit too much of travelling lately, isn't it? Well what the heck, it's not very often I can travel, more so now that I'm still studying, I can afford to spend some quality time to relax. I am tempted to bring my data to work with during this trip, but Pao Ko called just now and tried to convince me not to act like some nerd, so I think I'll leave that idea out. He's right, we are going there to have fun, so fun it is. I can talk my way out of trouble on this Friday's meeting, hahaha...

So yeah, Redang here I come!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

big conspiracy...

What do 27 minimarkets, hardware stores, stationery shops, aquarium shops and supermarkets in Cheras and PJ have in common?

None of them sell fishing lines.


This is disastrous. I'm like, 3 hours away before boarding the train to Penang, and I can't find a single shop selling fishing lines. What the hell happened to fishing lines?! Did everyone just suddenly took up fishing and bought all of them?! 3 bloody hours searching shop by shop and none of them have any. At one point I got so fed up I went to an furniture shop and asked if they have fishing lines. No, I didn't include that store in the 27 I mentioned up there.

This is a conspiracy, I tell you. Someone is plotting some evil scheme against me. I can sense that. What else would explain the missing supply of fishing lines in Cheras and PJ? Someone is trying to stop me from completing my final year project!

I need to get a cup of coffee and beat up some dummy to cool down.

leaving to penang...

Damn, I forgot to drink coffee today. No wonder I'm so damn bloody uptight and cranky. This sucks to the max.

I'll be leaving to Penang tomorrow night to complete certain tasks for my final year project, therefore I won't be blogging for a couple of days. And probably a couple of weeks at that, since Nic, Pao Ko and I planned for a trip to Redang next week.

Spent the last few days preparing my stuff for the project trip to Penang. The workload made me succumb a bit into my 'not so nice' personality of late. Hey, I'm busy and have got chores to complete okay? Don't blame me for getting pissed when you're giving me wake up calls damn early in the morning, for every single bloody day!!!

Why can't people just call or message me during regular hours? 3am and 9am are bad times to get me talking on the phone. I bark at those times. Seriously.

I am now thinking of bringing my project work together to Redang so that I can finish up my analysis since my supervisor wants to see 'numbers' on her table as soon as possible. Are there actually any hot spots in Redang where I can surf the net (instead of the wave)? Damn, I am such a workaholic. I need to destress.

Gimme a cup of coffee.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

family tree...

Earlier tonight several old men visited my house together with my grandparents. I thought they were my grandmother's friends, since she has quite a big number of kaki lepaks (it actually put me to shame). A couple of them even spoke in weird Mandarin slangs which I can't catch.

I later found out from my mother that those elders are actually separate distant relatives of mine, one of them came all the way from China. They are here to compile a family tree scripture that was started back in the 17th century. That's 300 bloody years for crap's sake!

Of course, I do know the fact that my ancestors came from China, duh. But it's very exciting to find out that we have a well-recorded scripture which contains names of all the children and grandchildren and greatgrandchildren all the way back to the first of my ancestors, though the record was temporarily discontinued sometime around 1930s (from what I hear from my mother). It is now picked back up by them and they actually travelled to many places to locate all the descendants of the 'Tan' family. How cool is that?

I was told that I am the 18th generation since the first Tan ('jou jong sap pat doi', fits me well, haha). So is one of the old men, who's about 70 plus. And I don't have to respect him, wahahaha... kidding, everyone knows I'm a polite boy.

I also found out that if I was to be named according to the scripture (they have a cycle of names to use for every generation), I would've been named Tan See *fill up something here*. Not really that bad to be honest. A lot better than Tan Ah Kau or Tan Ah Ngau right?

And check this out: I'm the first in the family tree to have an English name (my brother doesn't have his English name in his birth cert).

Now how cool is that?!!

Monday, June 20, 2005

formula one's a joke...

I'm telling you, there are no other sports in this world which is more ridiculous than formula one. I'm blogging now after watching ten laps, and there are only 6 cars remaining on track at the time of writing.


Because only 6 stupid cars started the race.

Apparently there are some problems with Michelin tyres which may pose danger to the drivers, as we saw the day earlier where 2 cars crashed during qualifying. The Michelin boss advised the teams using their tyres (all except Ferrari, Jordan-Toyota and Minardi) to not race if the FIA doesn't allow replacement tyres to be used.

By changing the tyres they'll be breaking 5 different regulations and ended up with penalties, so in the end all 14 went into the pit after finishing the formation lap. This leaves the 2 Ferraris in pole position to take 1st and 2nd place, with whichever lucky driver from either Jordan-Toyota or Minardi completing the top 3 podium finish.

I don't know what to say. I am not gonna sit there for 2 hours watching 6 cars battling (this must be a pun) it out for the top 6 positions. Maybe some will, to watch who will be stupid enough to crash during the race and miss out on points. I pity the spectators there, paying a fortune to watch shit. I can still turn the tv off and blog, the most practical thing they can do is to throw rubbish and bottles into the track (I saw that on tv) and showing the thumbs-down sign. Those with better senses would show the middle finger, and then formula one will be the first sport to receive an 18PL rating.

I can't believe this is happening. This is not good. And I am baffled that the 3 remaining teams actually went on 'racing'. Whatever happened to sportsmanship? Are points more important than the spirit?

Congratulations to Ferrari for a 1-2 finish. Unless you guys do something stupid and failed to finish the race (which would be very very very stupid). But I'll be sleeping when you guys are on the podium spraying the champagne.

Update: Sorry, I actually stayed up and managed to catch the podium celebrations. Not intentionally anyway, since Mexico vs Brazil is being shown live too, and that's quite a good match. Schumacher and Barichello didn't spray champagnes, but Monteiro did. Who can blame him? It's his first podium finish, albeit competing with a bunch of losers. Congratulations, I'm pretty sure that's your first and last trophy in formula one, you lucky prick.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

happy father's day...

There aren't anything to blog about and this is boring.

Btw, Happy Father's Day. Tonight my family will be having steamboat to celebrate (I am getting so sick of steamboats and bbqs, can't we do something else?).

Nothing else is new. I feel like crap and I talk crap. Screw it. I'm going to sleep. Don't call me in the morning, I will not wake up that early. Better still, don't call me cuz I feel like bitching and I'm gonna shoot anyone who wakes me up with early morning miscalls. Which btw, why do people always call or message me early in the morning?!! I AM ON HOLIDAY!!! I DON'T WAKE UP UNTIL NOON!!! WHICH IDIOT WOULD WANT TO WAKE UP AT 8AM DURING HOLIDAYS??!!

Hope everyone got that message. Goodnight.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

new wallpaper

Changed my current wallpaper. The old one looks too dark and it freaks my mother. This one looks more pleasant, and I like the pin-up idea. The photos bring back good memories and old times. Notice the nice 'love-shaped' reflection of the sunset. ;)

Monday, June 13, 2005

some girls can be awfully troublesome...

I just don't know how some people think.

When you have an argument with your boyfriend, you came seeking for advice. You tell me your boyfriend is an ass and doesn't care about you, he smokes, drinks, parties like an animal, scolds you for nothing, hates your family, and the list goes forever. You asked if you should break up with him. You doubt whether you made the right decision to be with him.

Look, I'm like, the last person around here who still haven't got into a relationship yet, and you're asking me for advice? What the fish were you even thinking? Do I look like someone who can offer a good advice?

Okay fine. I'll give you advice alright. I think your boyfriend stinks and you should break up with him. For good. That sounds sensible right?

And then you guys reconcile and go through all those traumatic hellholes again. And you again look for me for advice. What the hell do you want from me? You didn't listen to what I said before, and you asked for advice again? What do you want to hear from me?

Why do girls always fall for problematic guys? If you're smart enough to start a relationship with him then accept him for who he is lah. What's the point of complaining day and night over it? If you can't take it then don't stay where you are. Get somewhere and get a better guy. Isn't that a good solution?

What? What did I say? I haven't been in a relationship yet, so of course I think that's a good solution.

Not that I'm not a nice friend, I can be a nice little kitty (I AM a nice friend ok?) and listen to all your troubles like how you want to pour it out, but don't you think you're taking a bit too much of my life to accommodate yours? I won't be pissed if you come up with some new twists in your relationship. Third party, drug addiction, whatever. But not the same old story please. I am so dead bored with the same plot over and over again.

Just dump that ass and start a new life.

Or if you choose to stay with him, then I hope he'll magically transform into some knight in shining armour with an attitude to die for. Just wait patiently for him to see the light, he'll eventually realize he's an ass before this. See, I am a nice friend indeed.

As for me, I'll wish that pigs fly and rule the earth, and we humans will all be living in barnyards eating their dungs.

Okay, I lied. I wish for world peace. But like you didn't have enough problems yourself to listen to what I wish for, am I right?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

kenny's which singaporean blogger are you?

Congratulations livingmonolith, you are...

Scarlett Ting of

You are independent, smart and beautiful. Its too bad you don't see that yourself because life's little difficulties brought down a lot of your self confidence. As a result, you talk cryptic and you don't trust people easily. You care a lot for your friends and your loved ones, sometimes even more than you care for yourself, although they don't always seem to appreciate it. Don't let that affect you. As the saying goes, you don't miss the water till the well runs dry. So hang in there, you're a star in the making.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

I'd prefer if people say that I'm handsome rather than beautiful, hahaha... Anyway, I probably won't be blogging much in recent weeks because next week onwards I'll be somewhat occupied with my final year project. Tata...

Friday, June 10, 2005

my stand on meritocracy...

Forgive me for writing an awful lot of long posts recently, my mind wanders a tad bit too far because of the stress of reading too many journals and thesis. Plus, I AM having my holiday now, so allow me to put down some meaningful posts rather than my usual sarcastic jokes before I start my semester next month.

For sure everyone is a bit into the ‘rejected SPM top scorers’ news nowadays. Who isn’t? I mean, it IS that time of the year, and everyone will want to voice out a piece of their minds. Yours truly included.

I do not want to start blaming the PSD for the failed applications. We know there are plenty of factors in deciding the recipients, and yeah, I do believe race is one of the criteria, but I don’t think that’s the most decisive factor in selection. We don’t know exactly the rejected top scorers’ backgrounds, or how they performed in the interviews. For Christ’s sake, all the extra co-curricular certificates may even be hoax, because I have seen plenty of students receiving pathetic certs for useless participations back in my former secondary school. Not that I am saying they don’t deserve the scholarships. I may be biased in judging from that point of view, but I do not think that the government owes them the scholarships. Besides, there ARE a lot of scholarships elsewhere, right? Take whichever offer, and then pledge your loyalty to them, for they clearly see what you can do. Don’t cry despair over spilt milk. Look elsewhere and I’m sure there are others who would accept you.

However, I still hope that the PSD will be more transparent in their selection criteria. Instead of defending themselves the way they are doing now, why not publish the list of recipients and justify the matter altogether? I would gladly accept the fact if the scholarships are offered to some student with only 8A1s, but came from a difficult family background or from some rural areas. In my POV, these students certainly deserve those scholarships more than those who obtained 13A1s but have a reasonably good studying environment. Satisfy our curiosity and we shall no longer question the selection. Just as simple as that.

Now, on questioning the validity of meritocracy. For once I may sound racist, but I am sure in the next few weeks there WILL be plenty of ugly news dominating the front pages of local newspapers again like every other year; how top scorers are denied the courses they chose in entering local universities and most of them, if not all, are non-bumis.

We saw 128 top students last year who failed to secure courses of their preferred choice, medicine that is. We can argue that there are limited places for medicine in local universities, but isn’t it a bit glaring that of all the people who failed to gain entry, most (I am sorry but I couldn't provide the exact number here) of them are non-bumiputra students?

Before calling me a racist bastard, I just want to stress that I am questioning the meritocracy system and not making fools out of any ethnic groups.

Do we see any bumiputra students crying foul over failed allocations in courses of their choices? Not any that I can recall, although I believe there are some. Maybe they didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. At least that’s what I want to believe. But seriously, can you stand up and said you really believe that our country is practicing meritocracy?

And before this recent hype UMNO Youth wanted a review of the recent enrolments in universities due to the not-so-idealistic racial dominancy in critical courses. I can’t bear to think what will happen when the data is revealed. Suppose the facts show something they don’t like, what will be of us next?

Yes, people will say that all I do is complain and not proposing any useful solutions.

Say if I came up with a solution. If I say abandon the quota system wholly, does anyone think it’s practical?

Yeah, that’s not really a solution. But we can take it step by step, can’t we? Go with the meritocracy as we all do now, but we don’t have to throw the quota policy right out the window right at this moment. I do think it is necessary to provide proper education to those from rural areas (who mainly consist of bumiputras, which is the reason I think why the quota exists in the first place, after some enlightenment by S-Kay). Year by year, scrape a bit of the quota off and accept more students based on merits.

Ideally, I would like to think that very soon in the future, those who didn’t have the chance to get proper education because of poverty will then have the intellect to raise the living standards of their family and community. With them educating their less fortunate societies, hopeful youngsters capable of competing at the highest levels will be born, and we’ll have a progressive nation, regardless of ethnics. At that time we will no longer have illiterate children from rural areas. All will be competing in the same level; be it intellectually, socially, or psychologically.

Yes, we can still be differentiated physically by our skin colours, but by then it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Imagine yourself filling up a formal form, and you come across this question:


Sorry if I sound too idealistic, simple and naive, stupid even, but I think I made my point clear.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

of racism and our education system...

You know, today I feel like blogging about racism, and Malaysia’s education system.

We have plenty of blogs discussing this issue right now. We know it’s not something that we should discuss so openly, considering it’s such a sensitive issue. But some posts just rile me up and I think I should state my own opinions here in my own blog rather than spam their comments’ box with cusses.

So yeah, racism. What do I really think of it? Seriously, I think everyone has some in themselves, though I guess not a lot of people will admit to it. I won’t deny that I enjoy hanging out with people who speaks my mother tongue language more compared to those who speak English or BM. And it’s no surprise my housemates are all Chinese; but it’s only because we have the same culture and lifestyle, and I find it easier to adapt living together with them. Does that make me a racist? Maybe a little, but definitely not the radical type.

Do I hate people from other races? No, that I can tell you. In fact, some of my best friends are of other ethnics. My best friend in uni is an Indian. I’d rather hang out with him rather than with my course mates who only enjoy talking about the latest technologies and development in biotech who are mostly, coincidentally, Chinese. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of my education background, or my reluctance to be branded as a nerd, which is kinda typical in my programme.

If there are any people that I hate, it’s those who make remarks about me mixing a lot with people of other races. What’s the problem with that? Does that make me less Chinese? I know most of them don’t mean it, but I AM offended when they ask questions like, ‘How’s your Indian friend doing?’ or ‘Your Indian friend isn’t coming to class today?’. Is it necessary to include the word ‘Indian’ there? Why can’t you just say ‘your friend’ instead of ‘your Indian friend’? Not that I just hate them for saying things like that. I just find it a little rude. I don’t like people calling my friends in racist terms, just as equal as I dislike people who think atheism is crap, but that’s another story to discuss in the future. I also find it a bit impolite to ridicule my Malay slang, something I picked up in secondary school.

I guess we’ll just have to learn to accept people for who they are and not by their skin colours. Please notice that I use the word accept, and not tolerate.

Of course, when we discuss racism we always relate it to government policies. I’d rather separate both issues when in discussion. When you put them together it’ll eventually be a ‘racist’ post. Which btw, anything after this sentence is about the pro-bumi policy and not racism.

I hate the country’s education system and I’m not afraid to voice it out. I would talk about other policies too if I have experienced them, but unfortunately (or rather, fortunately) I have yet to suffer from any. I’ve been brought up with the country’s idealistic national schools all the way up to the local university. Before tertiary education, the pro-bumi (as in bumiputra, not Malay) policies are more or less insignificant because it was never a problem. I’ve never experienced any sort of biased situations back in school, and no one even bothered because they are non-existence.

The problem begins to surface when I applied into local university. I admit the government did a better job by applying meritocracy for university enrolment. But to what extent are we actually practicing it? Is it really fully based on meritocracy like what we read in the papers? No. I can say it a hundred times. No. Nonononononono…

To tell you briefly, I am currently majoring in a programme which I have always wanted, but not without going through the quota policy like what we had before this. My course only allows majoring in our second year, where some of them are based on quota in allocating places. I only barely make the list despite obtaining a reasonably impressive cgpa, and several unfortunate friends of mine did not make it despite having good results because the ‘quota’ is full. It is an open secret here that non-bumis would need to wrestle out the places because of the ‘kiasu-nature’ in ourselves, while bumis can ease into this programme with little effort.

Next to follow, the standard of our education. Because our programme is based on quota allocations, the existing gap in academic performances is evident, and this is further screwed because (apparently) we do not practice academic grade curves in some papers. Therefore, the high scorers get higher, and low scorers lag behind. How’d it happen? For one example I’ve experienced, re-sitting tests for our continuous assessment during mid semesters. What really happens is that the poor students will remain stuck with the same results, while the better ones will get higher marks. Seriously, I have seen fellow course mates obtaining 4.0 gpa regularly, while some failed miserably. While I have been pretty much breezing pass in my studies after the quota test, I find it slightly difficult to cope with that because while some of us can discuss genomic construction at ease, some can’t even catch a thing I say. That’s how big the gap is. Segregation is bound to happen, where one group of students excels academically, another group where everyone are clueless.

It’s easy to point fingers at the policy for the current flaw. Of course, I’d prefer if we really practice meritocracy here. I know I escaped rather fortunately from this policy, but to look at the bigger picture, should we abolish certain policies we can shut the non-bumis’ mouths when they screw up, and they’ll have nothing to say. Wouldn’t that be better?

I believe it will be, but that’s only my opinion. You may think this post is all crap, but that’s your opinion and you’ll have to blog about it in your own site.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

short update...

Well, what do you know, I passed the day without any problems at all, referring to my pre-proposal of course. Hahaha, damn, I know I'm good in talking cock, but man, talked all the way and impressing the postgrad in the process, bwahahaha, now that's good.

Pretty stressed right now cuz registration's next week and the timetable isn't out yet. The efficiency rate is really poor, how am I going to fix my schedule if you don't tell me when are my classes? Bad enough that I need to register extra credits this coming semester, sheesh...

I need a break. Any break. But I don't wanna use my brains and figure out what break I wanna have. Yeah, I'm lazy, sue me.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

my luck's back...

Why the hell do people keep telling me when they are having PMS?!! Do I look like I wanna know?!!

Women. I can never understand them.

Oh btw, I've found my pendrive. Apparently I dropped it in my car (funny I couldn't find it that day) and my brother saw it on the backseat when he drove my car out today. So the last thing I lost is still that wallet 7 years ago, and now I can save RM150.

And be nice and wish me luck for tomorrow's pre-proposal presentation of my project, hope I can talk (cock) my way out of trouble.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

thank you...

what the hell is wrong with you guys no I don't have a girlfriend and I don't give a damn about it cuz life is pretty much cool and happening right now so don't keep bugging me about it and leave me alone cuz when the time is right I will find one when I find one and no I don't have any problems so what the hell is your problem with me being single it's not like the world's gonna stop spinning because I'm still unattached at 22 and even if it does what the hell does that matter to you I am very fine thank you and stop interfering with my life.

On a totally different subject I would very much appreciate it if someone around here who knows anything about inter retro-transposon amplified polymorphism (IRAP) can help me out and kindly give me any links on any websites explaining the protocols. That would be very thoughtful of you, thank you.

Friday, June 03, 2005

stupid handphone...

I so damn hate today. Okay, yesterday, whatever.

I found that my handphone's screen went blank after the futsal game (where I sucked btw, and now my left leg's cramping), not very sure what's the reason. I must've dialled a few numbers without realizing because when I checked my messages using Cheng's handphone, a few unidentified numbers messaged me and asked if I was asking them out for supper. Unidentified, because I saved their numbers in my handset and not my sim card, and I have poor memory, especially remembering phone numbers.

I can't afford to change another phone because this handset has like, 200 phone numbers saved in it, and I do not know if I have any back-up elsewhere. Changing the LCD screen would cost about RM80.

Modern technology failed me today. At the worst time.

I am having a financial crisis now. Bloody stupid metal junks. And after today's meeting with my lecturer, I was informed that I need to make 2 trips to Penang in these 2 months to acquire my samples from the fields for my thesis project. Accommodation, transport, equipments for collecting samples, arghhh...

Now I have to ditch my holiday plans to go for a solo road trip and skydiving. Nic's asking to go Redang, and my housemates are asking me to go Muar. But all I can afford now is stay at home and rot, while preparing for my thesis.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

where in the world is my pendrive?

Damn I hate today.

I lost my pendrive, the one which I bought less than one year ago, costing me RM190 back then. Now I do not have any back-up to my industrial training report and several possibly important documents I saved in that stupid piece of tech junk. And I have to buy a bloody new one before the start of the semester.

This must be the first time I lose something after so many years. I remember the last time I lost something, it was about 7 years ago, my brand new wallet which I've bought a week earlier.

I hate losing things. It pisses me off.

Hopefully I won't break a leg in tonight's futsal game.

Monday, May 30, 2005

this is not a post about star wars...

I was catching up with updates from various blogs when I came along Screenshot's and read this letter.

It's direct and straight to the point, more or less something that I wouldn't dare to even mention out that loud. I'm sure many others think alike too, because it's taboo.

Makes me wonder why the hell did I insist to fight for a place in local university instead of studying overseas like what my brother did. I was trying to prove a point back then and I failed. I am in doubt whether my decision was wise, and there are whispers telling me it wasn't.

And Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith sucks. Fullstop.

back to art...

Must have been more than six months since I last made any drawings. I'm glad I still have the touch, was pretty worried that I'd lost it. Not really that idle anymore to spend some time doing what I enjoyed doing. Since I'll be pretty free these few days, this is something that can keep me occupied. Besides, I think my handwork needs some practice, it's not really up to my own expectations.

Ah, expectations. I need to learn to screw expectations once in a while before they screw me up side down.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

a voice from within...

I’m sitting in front of the computer right now, at 1.40 in the morning. I’ve just reached home and I’ve just taken a shower to clear my mind. Something has been bugging me.

I think I’m slowly losing something inside of me. Some feeling, that is. I’m starting to lose faith and hope in something I’ve always believed in. A conversation took place today; which I do not wish to reveal more about, and it has struck me that my faith and hope meant nothing now.

I thought I deserved better than this. I am emotionally drained; I don’t think I can carry on with my belief.

Although there are only some of you who are close to me (who reads this blog), I’m so sorry but I am not brave enough to expose this weaker side in me. It has always been the dark secret I kept in some corner of my mind, which until now I’ve never told you guys, and I guess I never will. Please understand that there are some things I’d rather not share. Be a friend and just let me settle some of my own problems on my own.

Right now, I’ve made a decision, it may make drastic changes in my life, or it may not. No, I won’t turn into some fashion-disaster ah bengs or start cussing like there’s no tomorrow. There are some of my principles that I do not wish to keep any longer, and for now I’d like to live a life where I can do what I want to do, and not regret them later.

I’ve decided that this earring that I’m wearing will not be removed. This scar, it’ll remain unhealed until some miracles bring me back something I have decided to let go of now. I’m sorry again for not telling the reason behind my decision to pierce my earlobe some years back. It’s another one of those dark secrets I’ve mentioned.

I promise I will be living a happy life, so don’t worry about me. Thank you.

p/s: I know I haven’t been posting a lot of personal posts lately, especially since the Liverpool hype, and I’m sorry to put in such a post as an update to my personal life.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

did i hear 'turkey delight'?

This is gonna be a loooooonnng emotional post, and all dedicated to Liverpool Football Club.

Honestly, Liverpool didn't deserve the Cup. All they did throughout the match was defend and hoped for a penalty shootout, wishing that luck will tilt their way. AC Milan, on the other hand, should be the worthy winners instead.

Dejected Liverpool players after conceding the third goal. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

Honestly? Nah, I'm just yanking ya.


It's ours to keep. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

Let's celebrate!!! Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

I don't give a damn about how well AC Milan played. Their players practised penalty kicks, that shows that they have the penalty shootout in their minds too. Too bad we snatched the Cup, and now we get to keep it. Sorry UEFA, for having to mold a new one.

'Six minutes of madness'. Well you got that right Ancelotti. What were you saying earlier? You only need 3 minutes to destroy Liverpool? I am somewhat ashamed that we needed 6 bloody minutes to annihilate AC Milan.

AC Milan players reel in delight after scoring one minute into the game. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

Forgive me for my arrogance, but do consider all the jeers and banters we have endured the entire season, being written off in every single competition and insulted by football pundits on a weekly basis. I tried to be humble but now that Liverpool won the Cup, I am gonna kick some sorry asses who made those insulting remarks.

Indeed, we Liverpool are not in the same class as AC Milan, their experience in the tournament gave them huge advantage, as we can all see in the first half. In fact, I thought about giving up and go to sleep because I couldn't stand the humiliation. But the diehard Kop fans cheered on shouting that 'We'll beat you 4-3!', and that is some incredible faith they have. In the end of the day, we did not, but we still beat AC Milan though, which is all that matters. At times like these, playing your 'experience' card no longer look that big, we are so much hungrier, and we didn't lose hope.

Well, Dudek certainly didn't. He made a double save from Shevchenko at point blank range to keep the score level. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

Dudek, Liverpool's hero of the match. Saving the crucial penalty from Shevchenko after denying Pirlo earlier. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

I am a bit embarassed that I didn't hold the same faith as those Kop fans, but after tonight I feel a lot closer to Liverpool than I've ever had. I didn't realize I was chanting along with the fans in the TV screen singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' after the exhausting match. That I managed to mouth out the lyrics was even more bizarre, because I have never tried to memorize them.

Aik Wai, my coursemate and football kaki in uni, messaged me at halftime saying, 'dun worry, liverpool will win! yeah!'. I didn't get that until I went back to my room, but thanks a lot for the support. I didn't expect it'll really happen. Btw, he's an avid Arsenal fan.

Which reminds me, sorry for all the stray messages I sent in the morning. I forgot to whom I sent to, but I believe there's quite a number of them. I was...momentarily overwhelmed, and I couldn't sleep. At that time the only thing I wanted to do is to tell the world that Liverpool is the new king of Europe. I only know that I've sent out a lot of messages after receiving some replies, some of them not even football fans, telling me to shut up. Hahahaha, forgive me guys.

Looking at the faces of Liverpool players, including those who are leaving or planning to leave, is just pure joy. Each and everyone of them celebrated like the Liverbird is embedded to their chest and not on their jerseys. This is pride, and what a great sight it was. Thank you Vladimir Smicer, I knew I could count on you (read my previous post).

For sure there are a lot of people out there wishing for a Liverpool victory, except Milan fans, Bluenoses, majority of Man Utd fans and Alex Ferguson. Fergie, well I have to name him, since he's the only manager in the top 6 who didn't publicly wish that Liverpool will take home the Cup. Mourinho, Wenger, Moyes, even Allerdyce spoke out hoping that Liverpool wins. So did Stubbs, the Everton captain. All the best to you guys too in the Champions' League next season. If luck has it then you may even meet us there.

Some posts by bloggers around Malaysia, talking about Liverpool's unbelievable feat (but you'd better believe it) in Istanbul:
Liverpool wins Champions League title
Sorry Idlan Liverpool Won
KINGS OF EUROPE once again!!!
Magnificent Reds
Well ...
Liverpool, what a comeback!
Kings of the Kop
Men Of Anfield - I Salute You!

Stevie G: It's looking good! Hopefully he'll remain here to guide Liverpool to more glories. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

Oh yeah, before I forget. Rafa, did I mention before that I just love your balding head? Muacks!!!

The really special one. Photo courtesy of Soccernet.

You'll Never Walk Alone