bitch

today i finally realize that i can never work in a team. probably there's some attitude problem with me. i already have some feeling long time ago that i am somewhat demanding when being put into group projects, but i've never seen how bitchy i can get until today.

i don't know if it's just me, but i feel that when we're assigned into groups, we should be putting in extra efforts so not to disappoint your groupmates. we're talking about how much influence one person can be if he/she decides to screw up. that's why i have this mentality of being a perfectionist, everything must be done properly and nicely.

to achieve this, i usually will make my own research beforehand, and present my ideas to my groupmates on how to create the best possible presentation. but the problem is, when i do this, i always want my ideas to be the only one implemented into our presentation. this is when i start to bitch; i make eveyone agree with me. when they offer other ideas, i always find reasons to reject them (not that their ideas are acceptable anyway, but that's not my point). i would always be thinking, 'dumbass, how can you even suggest such pathetic ideas? has it never occured to you that we have brains, for a reason?'. of course, i voice it out in a polite and manipulative manner. can't help it. usually in the end, almost the entire project would be prepared by myself alone, since i don't trust others to make a good job out of what they're supposed to do either.

the only way to make me stop bitching around is by letting me work alone.