Friday, September 03, 2004

lord, i'm doing all i can to be a better man...

i've made up my mind, some things are best left as it is. and the good part is i have learnt some valuable lessons in life, i'm so much more of a better person than i was.

along the path of life, i've went through heaven and hell. some things were brilliantly amazing, some agonizingly painful. either way, i seek ways to improve myself after every obstacle, and i'm constantly making a better man out of me. i'm not a perfectionist, but i'm only a stone's throw from being one. i put high hopes on myself but i have low expectations. things never go your way all the time and it's at times like these i know i am special. because i never gave up. because i never lose hope. in the end of the day, i learn to see through different perspectives and this makes me think with my head instead of my heart. i've been through shit and survived, and i'm happy with myself now. the only thing i hate is i'm getting more and more 'empty' inside. i can't feel emotions as much as i have wanted, but i guess we need to sacrifice something, 'give and take' they say. i can try to care, but i don't really have the heart anymore. but i'm not regretting, never did. i am what i am so don't expect anything more from me.

if you're still wondering what i'm babbling about, forget it cuz you'll never know. probably just going through some 'mood fluctuations'. i'll be better in the next morning.

by the way, it's sasi's birthday today. let me yell this out:
"macha, happy 21st birthday. ni alaga ireket, and you da man! thanks for being such a great pal in uni, but do me a favour and stop skipping biochem lectures." ; )

2 comments:

NiC said...

you've always closed yourself to everyone else. try opening up to someone and you won't feel so empty...

tomatoinc said...

hey jason, i think you got it right there..some things are best left as it is. why bother changing ppl or changing yourself to suit others?