Thursday, February 17, 2005

friendly football match

Sorry, I was lying. It was not really friendly, in fact it was so ugly that it makes you puke. Okay, I'm lying again. It's exaggerated. It was just not so nice.

Had a football game with some of the lads back in campus earlier in the evening. There were some strangers there playing too and they invited us for a 'friendly' match. We agreed, but who would've guessed it was so wrong?

Early in the game, I accidently barged into the opponents' keeper, I'll call him Fat Bastard (cuz he's fat and he's a bastard), when I was trying to head the ball from a cross. He was somewhat unhappy with my challenge and started talking to his teammates loudly that I was trying to elbow his mutt face, which is so untrue cuz I'm such a nice kitty. But being the nasty bitch I am, I didn't apologize to Fat Bastard (naturally) and he started to bitch around boasting the next time I come around he'll knock my delicate head bleeding.

Then the game turned ugly. Shortly after that, I received the ball near the byline and attempted to put in a cross when Crooked Teeth (Fat Bastard's whiny pal) made an X-rated tackle on me, practically chopping me down and left me with a bruised left knee. I was pissed, naturally, and even more pissed when Fat Bastard yelled asking if I was okay (dumb mutt, your gay pal came in two-footed aiming my knee!). And Crooked Teeth was shouting 'Aku dapat bolalah!' (I got the ball lah). Stupid ass. But, again, being the nice kitty I am, I gave him thumbs up indicating I'm fine.

Late in the game, when we were 3-2 down, I was through on goal after a nice pass from a teammate. I took a touch and looked at Fat Bastard as he tried positioning himself in front of the goal. At that moment, the only thing that came into my mind was 'Aim his stupid multilayered fat mutt face and hit it hard!'. I don't give a damn, someone can come and tap in the rebound when Fat Bastard is writhing in pain on the ground. One on one with the keeper, and I took a shot right into his mutt face.

I was preparing to jump with joy seeing the ball going right into his mutt face, imagining how his multilayered fat face bobble like jellyfish having sex, when he ducked. Yes, ducked! Stupid lame Fat Bastard keeper ducked his mutt face from a shot! What the hell?! What kind of stupid keeper is that?! He has the body size of an elephant and brain size of an elephant glue. Let me tell you what a keeper would do in that situation: take it right in your multilayered fat mutt face!!!

Oh, by the way, the shot went wide, and we lost 3-2. Rotten bastard and his gay pal totally screwed my day.

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