Saturday, October 16, 2004

of reality tv shows...

I hate reality tv shows.

I have never been a keen fan of any reality shows. I find them really fake. Ok, so the casts didn’t really manage to fake it, but I don’t like the way the editor cut it to make it so dramatic. As if our own lives aren’t dramatic enough. Now we have to endure these soap operas. Sheesh…

For the past weeks, I’ve been following a reality tv show ‘For Love or Money 3' (old, but they’re only recently aired on Star TV, and I was killing time anyway). Go ahead and laugh all you want. Try sitting here with not a thing to do and see if you’ll have any better ideas. On really dull days, I’ll just grab the remote and watch anything, even documentary shows of elephants getting drunk.

For sure the casts are in the show because of the money, besides getting famous and stuff. I don’t believe you get into a reality show to find ‘true love’. How lame is that? If you tell me I have a chance to win a million bucks or a dream guy (or dream girl in my case), I’ll definitely go for the hard cash. But these shows don’t end that way, do they? It’s always the fairy-tale happy ending. The guy chooses the girl, the girl chooses the girl, the blank cheque’s revealed to be a million bucks, they don’t give a damn, the end.

If you ask me, it’s a fantastic way to make money (as a producer). Anyone can make a reality tv show.

1. Get a line-up of some good looking casts (some hunky dudes and pretty babes).
2. Add some average-looking casts. This is to ensure the audience to think there’s no discrimination. Make sure the number is less that the good looking ones though.
3. Pick a good goal. For instance, do you want the casts to be fighting for love, the cash, or glory? Say you want them to achieve true love, so develop the show according to this goal.
4. Now that you have the storyline, include some unexpected twists. Developing relationships would be a common plot. Make the girls bitch. Get the guys jealous. Whatever you want, just make sure there’s a lot of yelling and cussing.
5. A reality show won’t be complete without the elimination. So figure out how you eliminate participants. Audience votes, random losers picked, whatever.
6. Now vote off all the ugly…umm, I mean physically unattractive, ones first. But always leave a couple of them behind, cuz they make good supporting casts. They don’t win of course. They never do.
7. Scenes you should include (a lot) are girls in bikinis and guys showing their abs. Don’t care even if your show’s about winning a dream job as a kindergarten teacher, just make sure there’s some flesh to satisfy the horny audience.
8. Make sure there’s always an evil participant in your show. This devil must remain in the show until the final 4, at least.
9. The last one standing must be everyone’s favorite. Do your homework before deciding who the winner is, and make sure the ending is NOT unexpected.
10. Finally, sign up a contract with Playboy to ensure that you receive cash revenues if they approach your participants to pose naked for them after the show ends.

There you have it, a money-making reality tv show of your own. Now go get your lazy ass off the chair and do something useful. And stop bitching.


tomatoinc said...

oh well, if you don't like it..just don't watch it. don't contribute to their ratings. then reality show will stop.

Livingmonolith said...

i'm watching it for the goodlooking ladies, hahahaa...